Thursday, July 28, 2011

I have a confession

So here is my confession. I am having a really hard time being a stay at home mom. There I said it. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom and I dreamed about how wonderful it would be when I was working, but I really miss going to work every day and feeling a tangible sense of accomplishment. Sometimes I feel like the walls are just closing in on me in our house, but there really is nothing to do during the day around here aside from using gas to drive 20 miles away to browse Supertarget and spend money we don't have. There aren't any playgroups or moms groups close by, so I spend a serious amount of time home alone with James. The days just blend into each other and when I think about the future it is hard to imagine anything being different. Everyone I have talked to says that it gets easier, but here we are at 6 months and I am still struggling.

I try to think up projects for myself and things I can do, but I think at the root of it I am just plain lonely. Are any of you out there having the same problem?? If you have been through this, can you give me some hope??


Astorga Crew said...

I felt the same way when I was home with Kylie - she couldn't crawl, she couldn't talk...I was bored. There weren't any playgroups in Jax when we first got there. I found a MOMS club to join which was a huge help. I was still bored, but had stuff to go to. I eventually got a job at the YMCA where I watched kids in the Kid Zone - I got out, made $ and Kylie could play with other children. Now, I am crazy, busy with 3 kids. You'll get there.

Happy said...

I think that most new stay at home moms feel the same way! I remember being bored to death and calling friends all the time and asking if I could stop by just to get out of the house and be around another adult. And then one day, I realized I didn't have that same "I need to get out of the house and talk to an adult!!!!" feeling nearly as much anymore. I realized it was because Teya was finally old enough to have a conversation with and she was old enough to do fun things that I enjoyed too, like swim, the zoo, etc. and I could pour myself more into teaching her things. I really do think it gets better the older they get!! Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I am SO SICK of my monotonous life of cooking and cleaning and taking care of everyone else day after day. But then I'll read on someone's blog about how heartbroken she is the day she had to drop her baby off at daycare so she could go back to work and I am again extremely grateful to be a stay at home mom again! I also remind myself that as boring as this life can be, I would be much LESS happy working while my child was in day care! One other thought- I wouldn't always say I'm happy being a stay at home mom, but I can definitely say I am happy that I am ABLE to be a stay at home mom. Oh, and yes, the more kids you have, the more busy you are and less time you have to even think about being bored!

teachergirl said...


and my husband is home more than you. but i feel like reaching out could really help. i am trying.

no moms in your ward? no potential playdates?

it sounds condescending, and i don't mean it this way at all, but trying praying for an answer (i'm sure you already are). sometimes (all the time) Heavenly Father has better ideas than we do.

i think it gets better as we adjust--or else we figure out how we can change the situation. but if you're having a hard time, that's something to try to change. six months is a long time, but remember that the first three months were SO HARD for you guys. so maybe it's like three months?

hang in there. you're not alone.