Thursday, May 19, 2011

Things I never thought I would say

A few things that I have found myself saying that I never thought I would say:
  • I have a happy, smiley baby! Oh. my. word. I never thought this kid would smile or be happy, since he spent the first 3 months of his life screaming and trying to make me go crazy :) He smiles ALL the time now. He still gets cranky, but I think that it is a normal cranky and seems like no big deal at all compared to what we went through with him in the beginning. When I get him out of his crib in the morning, he usually gives me a big smile (even though he was just crying) and he just grins and grins when Anthony or I play with him. He loves to look at our faces and we are starting to notice that he smiles MUCH more at us than at anyone else. That is cool :)
  • I actually like getting up at night with him. Shock! I never, ever, thought I would say this, but now that I can get good 4 hour stretches of sleep at night getting up is not as bad as it used to be. I love how sweet and cuddly he is at night and how he grins at me while he is drifting off back to sleep. He does so well at night and goes right back to sleep after eating but I usually rock him for several minutes after I could have put him down because I just don't want to stop holding him. I love that the entire house is quiet and dark and it is just me and him. I get to watch his sleepy, droopy eyes as he falls asleep in my arms, and I find myself taking mental snapshots in my head all the time.
  • I don't mind it when he cries. A few weeks back, I decided that I just wasn't going to let it get to me when he cries, that I would find a way to shut down the anxiety that builds in my stomach. I was feeling trapped inside of my house, afraid to go anywhere or do anything with him because I was afraid that he would cry. Not anymore! I've decided that if I want to go and do something, we will do it and if he cries, he cries. I feel much more sane now that I can get out and do things, and James is doing pretty well with adjusting to being out and about. He still gets fussy at times, but I figure he will never learn how to do it if I don't put him in the situation.
I've been thinking lately about how much my life has changed and how much I have changed as a person now that I am a parent. I am learning to do everything I can to stop and enjoy life in the moment. I guess living with a little guy that literally changes and grows everyday can do that to you! You have to cherish each moment because in an instant he has grown and has moved on to doing something else equally awe inspiring (at least to his parents! probably not to anyone else). My friend Leah is an awesome mom and totally inspired me during one of our conversations. We were talking about things we want to do someday and how hard it can be to be a parent sometimes. She said that she tries to remind herself that this is her season in life, and to remember that there will be more seasons later on that will bring all different opportunities and challenges. I've tried to make that my mantra, that this is my season in life and to live it to its fullest instead of worrying about missing out.


Happy said...

Oh, this post makes me so happy for you!!! So so happy for you! I can't wait to see him again! And I just have to tell you again how dang cute he is- my word!!

teachergirl said...

gosh i love this post, especially that idea of this is my season. i also totally understand the thing about feeling trapped in the house. granted, maggie is still pretty little, but i think it's time for me to get out most days. i think i will do better with it and she will too. and i love the idea that we all are just going to have to learn how to do it--our babies AND us.

such a great post. i'm so happy for you. you're an inspiration.